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This addresses one of the biggest sources of workplace strife known to man.  Learn about it and do what you can to fix the problem.


Why can't people be polite and considerate and make more coffee when they drink the last of  the pot?  I'm sure it's not just my office.  It's happened in virtually every office I've worked in: you get to the coffee maker and discover that the last asshole to get coffee took the last and was either too inconsiderate to make another pot or too stupid to figure out how.  Sorry, but I can't come up with any other explanation.  Well, okay, there are those who feel they're too important to spend the time to make coffee, but I rank them in the inconsiderate column.

(It is, perhaps, ironic to note that putting up signs that say "If you're too inconsiderate, incompetent, or self-important to make another pot when you finish one, please don't drink any at all." has only resulted in the sign being removed at five different companies.  Probably by one of the inconsiderate, incompetent, or self-important individuals.)

Here's a bit of code I put up around the office above the coffee makers.  The code works.  Only user-errors so far.  From assholes, of course.

void GetCoffee ()
{
	//	put the cup in position
	Cup.Position (0, 0);
	
	//	"fill" the cup
	while (Cup.iQuantity < (0.90 * Cup.iCapacity)
	{
		Carafe.Pump ();
	}
	
	//	if there's enough coffee for someone else
	if (Carafe.iQuantity >= (Cup.iCapacity))
	{
		// enough coffee for someone else, so you're done
		return;
		
	}
	else
	{
		//	otherwise
		select
		{
			//	user doesn't know how to make coffee
			case User.bCoffeeMakingIgnorant:
				
				//	no more coffee for them
				User.bCoffeeRights = FALSE;
				
				//	in fact, no hot liquids for them
				User.DenyHotBeverageUse ();
				
			case User.bInconsiderateJerk:

				//	user's a jerk, so...				
				User.bCoffeeRights = FALSE;
				
			case User.bHasNoTime:
				
				//	no time to make coffee 
				//	means no time to get coffee
				User.bCoffeeRights = FALSE;
				
			default:
			{
				
				//	user isn't stupid, a jerk, or
				//	too "important", so make coffee
				
				FilterBasket.AddFilter ();
				
				FilterBasket.Filter.AddCoffee ();
				
				FilterBasket.InsertToMachine ();
				
				CoffeeMaker.Brew.Push ();
				

			}
		}
	}
}

If you'd like to download an ASCII version to put over a coffee-maker at work, right-click here and save the .c file to your computer.

 


 

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     Copyright 2002-2004 - David Charles Reed Last Updated: 06 January 2005