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Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify a man's personality based on what drinks were chosen.  Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

  • Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor and wants to get laid.
  • Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
  • Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid
  • Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
  • Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
  • Vodka : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf.  Desperate to get laid.
  • Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
  • Southern Comfort : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
  • Tequila : Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something with a pulse (he's obviously from Barrow-in-Furness or the far North of Scotland)
  • Barcardi Breezer/Hooch/Malibu : He's gay




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     Copyright 2002-2004 - David Charles Reed Last Updated: 06 January 2005