Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify a man's personality based
on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred
on almost all counts. The results:
- Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor and wants to get laid.
- Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
- Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid
- Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
- Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated
image and help him get laid.
- Vodka : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate
to get laid.
- Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone
who will get in his way of getting laid.
- Southern Comfort : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all
about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself
into getting laid.
- Tequila : Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something with a
pulse (he's obviously from Barrow-in-Furness or the far North of
- Barcardi Breezer/Hooch/Malibu : He's gay