The New Years' Resolution is a culture thing, I'm sure. I haven't heard of any Chinese vowing mid-January what
they're gonna do in the upcoming year.
Some easy-to-follow resolutions. These are also great things to put on your goals for your job to make sure you
get that end-of-quarter bonus for meeting all of your objectives.
- Do not knowingly eat plutonium.
- Do not spontaneously combust.
- Do not engage in non-standard accounting practices.
- Do not overthrow any sovereign nation.
- Avoid being mobbed by supermodels.
- Do not eat anything larger than my head by myself and/or in one sitting.
- Do not develop weapons of mass destruction.
- Do not find it necessary to restate my earnings.
- Do not arouse the suspicions of Tom Ridge.
- Be polite to people carrying guns.
- Corollary 1: Be extra polite if you're sure the gun is loaded.
- Corollary 2: Do not make sudden moves that may alarm them.
- Do not invade sovereign nations on the suspicion that they might have weapons of mass destruction. Or
weapons of mass destruction program related material.
- If I ever hire a nanny, make sure she's legally in the country and that I pay her properly so as to avoid
scandals when being appointed to a high public office.
- Shun any super powers.
More as I think of 'em.