|
| |
|
Kids always seem to have so much energy. I thought it was
natural. Now that I have one, I realize that it isn't.
It's just that they suck the energy out of their parents.
|
| - David Reed |
No, these aren't all mine. But I do love quotes.
Computers
| The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other
invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.
- Mitch Ratcliffe
|
| Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.
- Dave Platt
|
| A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken. |
| The only thing more dangerous than a hardware guy with a code patch
is a programmer with a soldering iron. |
| Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe
trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is
winning.
- Rich Cook
|
| The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting
than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
- Edsgar W. Dijkstra
|
| I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to
use than eating soup with a knife. |
| #define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb))
- Shakespeare
|
| The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be
regarded as a criminal offense.
- Edsgar.W. Dijkstra
|
| If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then
programming must be the process of putting them in. |
| Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. |
| There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one
works.
- Alan J. Perlis
|
| Relax! It's only 1's and 0's. |
| If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kick-boxing.
- Matt Larson
|
| I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943
|
| There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, President/Founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,
1977
|
| E-mail - When it absolutely, positively has to get lost at the speed
of light.
- Jerry Vuoso
|
| The only truly secure computer is one buried in concrete, with the
power turned off and the network cable cut. |
| 640K ought to be enough for anybody.
- Bill Gates, 1981
|
Business
| This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously
considered as a means of communication.
- Western Union internal memo, 1876
|
| In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the
dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any
of the buttons, the dog bites him.
- Scott Adams
|
| 26.2% of all statistics are just made up. |
| I didn't say it was your fault; I said that I was going to blame
you. |
| This e-mail is intended for the designated recipient only. If you
have received this in error, you may need to restate your earnings
for one or more quarters. |
Life
| We're the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have
no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual
war... our Great Depression is our lives.
- Tyler Durden
|
| I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk! Alcoholics go to meetings. |
| Fame is proof that people are gullible. |
| We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be
millionaires, movie gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're slowly
learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
- Tyler Durden
|
| If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most
dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a
state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you
know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty!
- Jeff Foxworthy
|
| You have to be prepared for the possibility that God does not like
you.
- Tyler Durden
|
George: What should we do if we step on a land-mine?
Blackadder: Well George, standard procedure is to jump 200 ft. up in
the air and scatter yourself over a large area! |
| I'm patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.
- Edith Sitwell
|
| Never confuse motion for action.
- Benjamin Franklin
|
| God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends. |
| We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen.
- George W. Bush
|
| They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a litte temporary
safety deserve neither.
- Benjamin Franklin
|
| When forced to choose between two evils, try the new one. |
| She asked me how I became so cynical about women...and then she
provided the evidence.
- David Reed
|
| You can't please everyone. But it is possible to piss 'em all off at
the same time. |
| |
|
